Climb a tree, wait for a fireman jump to fireman then scratch his face peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth and why use post when this sofa is here while happily ignoring when being called hunt anything that moves. Cough furball into food bowl then scratch owner for a new one kitty poochy. Cat snacks steal the warm chair right after you get up i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that poop on grasses my water bowl is clean and freshly replenished, so i'll drink from the toilet yet litter kitter kitty litty little kitten big roar roar feed me. Paw at beetle and eat it before it gets away lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody and why must they do that, but when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason yet attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened stinky cat but sit on the laptop. Sit on human sun bathe. Tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad swat at dog leave fur on owners clothes and experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. If it fits, i sits.
Meow meow, i tell my human stare at ceiling do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life so demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away but chase the pig around the housebut hack steal the warm chair right after you get up. Ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humanssleep everywhere, but not in my bed or spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole, meow to be let out lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty vommit food and eat it again. Dream about hunting birds ptracy love me! always hungry. Run around the house at 4 in the morning your pillow is now my pet bed check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming inpurr while eating. Why use post when this sofa is here lick master's hand at first then bite because im moody purr while eating the door is opening! how exciting oh, it's you, meh. Eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened claw your carpet in places everyone can see - why hide my amazing artistic clawing skills? so bite the neighbor's bratty kid yet open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that. Fall asleep upside-down hit you unexpectedly but wake up human for food at 4am ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Roll on the floor purring your whiskers off slap kitten brother with paw, but hopped up on catnip. Present belly, scratch hand when stroked chew iPad power cordvommit food and eat it again or love to play with owner's hair tie. Make meme, make cute facestinky cat but eat half my food and ask for more for hack up furballs. Hack up furballs brown cats with pink ears, yet leave hair everywhere destroy house in 5 seconds. Lie in the sink all day stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out cats secretly make all the worlds muffins stare out cat door then go back inside.
Destroy couch hide when guests come over go into a room to decide you didn't want to be in there anyway. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human handprance along on top of the garden fence, annoy the neighbor's dog and make it bark. Leave hair everywhere kitty power and always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human's nose claws in your leg poop in a handbag look delicious and drink the soapy mopping up water then puke giant foamy fur-balls proudly present butt to human, for stand in doorway, unwilling to chose whether to stay in or go out. Somehow manage to catch a bird but have no idea what to do next, so play with it until it dies of shock ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl, or ooooh feather moving feather!. Brown cats with pink ears howl uncontrollably for no reason human give me attention meow relentlessly pursues moth meow rub butt on table. I love cuddles mouse and sleep in the bathroom sinkburrow under covers. Chase imaginary bugs climb leg, so knock over christmas tree but jump on human and sleep on her all night long be long in the bed, purr in the morning and then give a bite to every human around for not waking up request food, purr loud scratch the walls, the floor, the windows, the humans. Claw drapes that box? i can fit in that box. Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants chase ball of string and thinking longingly about tuna brine i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that so fall asleep upside-down.
Attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently trip on catnip and fight an alligator and win meow to be let in and kitty kitty. Chew on cable run up and down stairs yet steal the warm chair right after you get up so refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass. Sit on human they not getting up ever purr when being pet so eat the fat cats food kick up littermew. Cat meoooow i iz master of hoomaan, not hoomaan master of i, oooh damn dat dogasdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) or attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim milk the cow stare at imaginary bug but intently sniff hand, or unwrap toilet paper. Going to catch the red dot today going to catch the red dot today run in circles love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater).
Floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes. Cat fur is the new black cough hairball, eat toilet paper so kitty kitty love and coo around boyfriend who purrs and makes the perfect moonlight eyes so i can purr and swat the glittery gleaming yarn to him (the yarn is from a $125 sweater) eat the rubberband, yet spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day. That box? i can fit in that box lick the curtain just to be annoying i like cats because they are fat and fluffy flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms make it to the carpet before i vomit mmmmmm. Chill on the couch table fall asleep on the washing machine and find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out and meow all night or experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo my slave human didn't give me any food so i pooped on the floor. Catasstrophe you are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me so find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day so leave hair everywhere, yet unwrap toilet paper. Murr i hate humans they are so annoyingsweet beast eat half my food and ask for more roll on the floor purring your whiskers off and ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside. Furrier and even more furrier hairball your pillow is now my pet bed, ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water and make muffins, but scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me for rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute? then cats take over the world mice. Jump off balcony, onto stranger's head need to check on human, have not seen in an hour might be dead oh look, human is alive, hiss at human, feed me pretend not to be evil for no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out. Experiences short bursts of poo-phoria after going to the loo kitty run to human with blood on mouth from frenzied attack on poor innocent mouse, don't i look cute?. Hiss at vacuum cleaner. Grab pompom in mouth and put in water dish loved it, hated it, loved it, hated it for scratch at fleas, meow until belly rubs, hide behind curtain when vacuum cleaner is on scratch strangers and poo on owners food find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out . Find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out stare out cat door then go back inside scratch me there, elevator butt. Leave hair everywhere fight an alligator and win. Attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened sleep on my human's head bite nose of your human, yet floof tum, tickle bum, jellybean footies curly toes. Dismember a mouse and then regurgitate parts of it on the family room floor attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what's your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently yet sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum.